A man cries out, seeking for advice from the general public over his wifes’ refusal to cook for their guests.

“Hello Good afternoon readers. This is very long, so please bear with me.
I’ll start from the root. Well, in my church, there’s usually a committee for the married men were most times we can proffer solution to the issues or need of the church members and other times organize get together monthly within us (married men) just to foster unity.

Since we’re like 20, different men host the get-together. Therefore, it’s spaced out for 1year and 8months.

It all began last Sunday when I was chosen to oversee the next get together which comes up this Sunday after church. When we (my wife and I) got home after church, I told her about it and she immediately asked, “who would do the cooking”? I was taken aback as the question sounded strange.

I replied to her saying, since she did the cooking the last time, I figured she’d do it this time.

She got angry and said there’s no way she’ll be going through the stress of cooking for 18 to 25 men and that I better know what to do concerning who’s going to handle the cooking.

I tried to calm her down and reminded her of how I assisted her in the kitchen by pounding the yams while she made the soup -two soups actually and that I was going to help her this time. Yam is quite expensive, so we’re not pounding this time, just Semo.

She remained adamant and said there was no way she would do anything, that the work stressed her so much, and she won’t partake in any cooking and that I better go find anyone to do the cooking. Thing is, I understood the fact that the work was stressful for her because she was 5 months pregnant then and it was her first time.

Yesterday at work, I kept pondering about a solution and a thought struck me. I called her from work and asked her, “how about I get one of the women at church to offer you support?”. She blatantly refused and still held on to her words.

My mind hasn’t been settled since morning because I got hold of a caterer, and she told me that she’ll charge a thousand naira per head, that is approximately 20k. Truth is, the get together came at a wrong time and considering the prices of drinks, the cost of the foodstuff, meat, ingredients, etc. I really can’t afford a caterer right now.

I’m at a crossroad now. I don’t know what to do because it’s causing a rift between us. I thought of bringing a church member to assist on that day without informing her, so she wouldn’t surprise me and leave the house but I fear that if she comes, my wife might not join her in the kitchen and the woman will begin to feel a certain way (thinking of how ungrateful we are).

Then again, who will purchase the food items? I’ve just been confused. I really need insights.

Note: I said I’ll help her make the swallow, she just needs to make the soup.”

Please drop your comments below.


  1. She’s just not in the mood now. Probably get drinks and snacks. Later on you people would sort it out peacefully when she’s willing to discuss. Keep showing her love and she’ll definitely listen to you

  2. Please tell me location, I’ll come and cook for my Daddies in church….
    Please dear handle her with love. Actions likely is to be expected during pregnancy.

  3. Maybe she wasn’t congratulated on the last meal. remind her how sweet the last meal was and how the men talked about it which is the more reason you want her to do the cooking while you assist her

  4. Ehh.. If she refuse cooking for your guest she’s ain’t in the mood of cooking to the parlar guest let your guest go home and eat in his or her own house, is not a do or die affair may be she will cook some other time for him or her. or you kukuma 💁go buy am food for eatery na if is that compulsory to eat in your house sir.

  5. My advice to you sir is that you make her understand that it’s not a must that she cooks, but that due to the present economic situation she can help save money that she too can use for her personal needs. Praise her previous cooking, tell her how great it was, tell her you would even do the chores with her and all that, make her smile and she will forget the stress. Don’t make it look and sound like it’s her duty please.

  6. At times it’s good for a man to also learn how to cook so that when your wife refuses or not in the mood you will do it yourself instead of bringing your private matter to the public and then later you can sort yourselves out.

  7. Definitely you don’t know how to cook before you get married before. If you can ni, you will know how to pet her and be doing it together secretary.


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